Dumb And Dumber Humor

The Darwin Awards

Another Stop And Rob Story

    A man walked into a Circle-K (a convenience store similar to a 7-11), put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled-- leaving the $20 bill on the counter.

    The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars.

I Demand A Refund

    A South Carolina man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was substandard cut, and asked that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately.

A Good, Honest Crook!

    A bank robber was arrested the day after the robbery at a motel near the state line only twenty or thirty miles away. Why did he stop so close to the scene of the crime? He explained he was on parole and couldn't cross the state line without permission from his parole officer.

Ahead: A *Serious* Hangover!

    Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock thru a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. (PLUS, The whole event was caught on videotape.)

I know you are, but what am I?

    As a female shopper exited a Ney York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, police had apprehended the perpetrator. They put him in their cruiser and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes Officer... that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

Just A Bad Day

    If you thought YOU were having a bad day, read on:

     Response to a wildfire on the south of France's Cote d'Azur was billed as a marvel of modern fire-fighting technology. Two specially-built flying boats zoomed in, skimmed the waters of the Mediterranean, scooping vast amounts of water into their belly tanks, and then dropped the water on the hillside fire. All was jolly and the wine flowed freely until a body was found in the ashes.

    The coroner found that the gentleman had apparently fallen from a great height, suffering serious injuries before being burned to death. The report further noted that the victim was wearing a bathing suit, snorkel, and swim fins.

Dumb and Dumber

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